Week 52

This week’s entry is funny when in terms of time. And it makes my head spin. The beginning of 2023 happened at the end of this week. 2022 ended, but not at the end of the week. There was a threshold from old to new over the weekend.

Indeed it’s a confusing time. However, I have optimism for the future again. Like, actual optimism. I no longer feel like I’m in some sort of survival mode. I’ve been in that mode since my mom passed in 2018.

I started this year out pretty directionless. The only thing that I had going for me was that I would pack everything up in the back of my F150 and move out west. Preferably to California, and to the Bay Area. I truly felt like I was abandoning my chosen family. But I couldn’t stay in Memphis anymore. I feel like that may come across as cliche to a lot of people that read this. But if I’m being honest, I don’t care if it does. Because I did that hard-as-hell thing and I drove about 2500 miles to establish a new living space in a new city that wasn’t in tyrannical Tennessee. I worried for the longest time that I’d be stuck in Memphis. And I felt trapped in a place where I did not want to live.

Fast forward a bit, and I’ve accomplished quite a lot in just a few months. I’ve started a YouTube channel, finished a first draft of a satirical science fiction series (which I will always talk about), working on a piece called Life After Trans, began making plans to start a business (there’s a lot of prep work that went into it December 2022), and established a life in a city where I actually feel like I can thrive.

Not everything has been 100% great. On December 28, 2022 a long-time family friend peacefully passed away. She was surrounded by family for her last week. I was unable to be there to support them in any way. After my own mom passed away there were many people that I dropped out of communication with. It’s not something I can explain that well, just something that’s happened. Maybe I can put into words to this phenomenon some day. But on the 28th I passed out condolences like business cards to everyone I could find on social media.

While I’m not about to ignore any kind of loss in my life, I’m looking forward instead of looking over my shoulder at my past. I have three big things going for me that weren’t there when 2022 began. That being: writing more of my books and other pieces, content creation on YouTube, and starting a business. But moving into 2023, I’m more ambitious than ever. There was a phrase that started on TikTok about this time last year (though who can keep track anymore). “I’m entering my villain era.”

I ended the year by celebrating at a friend’s place. It was great to be with loving, like-minded people that helped spread the good vibes. I hope your 2022 ends well, and 2023 begins on a better note.

Fancy Links:

This week was amazing! The Winter Solstice occurred at the same time as Hanukkah. I decided to slow down all the video editing for a bit; I realized I need to reorganize for the year and take some time off for some fun.

It’s so difficult to go outside after dark right now. It’s cold enough that I need to suit up quite a bit, and it’s dark for much longer than I like. I wanted to join a couple of folks at trivia on Thursday, but it was dark by 5pm and just didn’t feel worth it. But I managed to rip myself away from my phone and tv for D&D night at least.

I’ve been so against Christmas stuff for so long that I’ve overlooked other ways to stay in touch with those I love. And now that I’m a Gay in the Bay (so to speak) and thousands of miles away from loved ones, I have some time to think that sort of thing through. It’s gotten me to look back at my Irish and Norse ancestry and how they dealt with the darkest time of year. Specifically around the Solstice and the origins of what we think of as Christmas trees. While I don’t have the “Christmas” spirit, I feel the holiday spirit again. I never thought I’d say that since becoming an atheist in college. But the thing is that I’m not changing my mind on following any gods. It’s not about wether or not they exist, but to focus on nature and other people. It’s fun to explore this facet of spirituality.

I’ve told a few folks already, but here’s a good time to start mentioning this: I’m helping start a business! It’s a marketing firm that aims to help out small businesses and minorities, among other things. My job will be day-to-day management and videography. I have quite a bit of experience at this sort of thing from my last job as a Video Technician at Lens Rentals. So I’m up for the job.

On the Solstice I finished A Scatter of Light. Boy was that a rollercoaster. It was a ton of things: coming out of the closet, learning how to navigate rocky family issues, first true love, and even death. That last part was the hardest to read through because I lost my mom nearly five years ago.

I had a chill day on the 25th of December. I made some Southern-style biscuits, which were a hit with a few folks that I shared it with. I let all the folks I love how much I love them. Also, new episodes came out for one of my favorite shows.

Some stuff from this week:

Finished A Scatter of Light
I’ve been adding music to my Life After Trans playlist.