Week 52
This week’s entry is funny when in terms of time. And it makes my head spin. The beginning of 2023 happened at the end of this week. 2022 ended, but not at the end of the week. There was a threshold from old to new over the weekend.
Indeed it’s a confusing time. However, I have optimism for the future again. Like, actual optimism. I no longer feel like I’m in some sort of survival mode. I’ve been in that mode since my mom passed in 2018.
I started this year out pretty directionless. The only thing that I had going for me was that I would pack everything up in the back of my F150 and move out west. Preferably to California, and to the Bay Area. I truly felt like I was abandoning my chosen family. But I couldn’t stay in Memphis anymore. I feel like that may come across as cliche to a lot of people that read this. But if I’m being honest, I don’t care if it does. Because I did that hard-as-hell thing and I drove about 2500 miles to establish a new living space in a new city that wasn’t in tyrannical Tennessee. I worried for the longest time that I’d be stuck in Memphis. And I felt trapped in a place where I did not want to live.
Fast forward a bit, and I’ve accomplished quite a lot in just a few months. I’ve started a YouTube channel, finished a first draft of a satirical science fiction series (which I will always talk about), working on a piece called Life After Trans, began making plans to start a business (there’s a lot of prep work that went into it December 2022), and established a life in a city where I actually feel like I can thrive.
Not everything has been 100% great. On December 28, 2022 a long-time family friend peacefully passed away. She was surrounded by family for her last week. I was unable to be there to support them in any way. After my own mom passed away there were many people that I dropped out of communication with. It’s not something I can explain that well, just something that’s happened. Maybe I can put into words to this phenomenon some day. But on the 28th I passed out condolences like business cards to everyone I could find on social media.
While I’m not about to ignore any kind of loss in my life, I’m looking forward instead of looking over my shoulder at my past. I have three big things going for me that weren’t there when 2022 began. That being: writing more of my books and other pieces, content creation on YouTube, and starting a business. But moving into 2023, I’m more ambitious than ever. There was a phrase that started on TikTok about this time last year (though who can keep track anymore). “I’m entering my villain era.”
I ended the year by celebrating at a friend’s place. It was great to be with loving, like-minded people that helped spread the good vibes. I hope your 2022 ends well, and 2023 begins on a better note.
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