So I took the RAADS-R Test today on Embrace Autism. I got a 204. Every test I’ve taken feels like I’m getting closer to figuring something out about my brain. And the main reason I even started this little quest of mine was to be more consistently creative.
Like, I’ve always depended on those moments of creativity where I get an idea and I write it down as fast as possible. But I think so fast and my hands can’t keep up much of the time. And while I don’t have an exact idea as to why this happens, I have a place to start.
I don’t know how to feel about this news. It seems like I should feel something, but right now I don’t. It’s like there’s some unnamed emotion pushing just underneath the surface. But that’s all ok right now. The thing I told myself before-hand is to just take in the information and sit with it for a while.
I’m moving out of Memphis (my hometown) in a little over a month. So that’s a big priority right now. But I’m going to have time to prioritize this ASD thing. And to bring it up when it’s necessary. Stuff like that. I’ve had to learn patience from a lot of things at work, so I know that I need to apply that to this as well.
Something about this score reenforces this belief that I am a highly creative person, though. I’ve always felt frustrated because I couldn’t get a point across, or put two ideas together and become quickly dismissed. I used to bemoan stuff like that, but I’m just trying to analyze it right now. Trying to take a step back and examine things that might be some sort of indication to something else… But to get back to the creative part: I’ve always wanted to make up stories. I think it has something to do with trying to study people and traits. Things of that sort. It’s difficult to find a story I find very interesting. And when I do, some folks boil my stories down to cliches. I dunno, I’m rambling and will stop there for now.
