Review: West Coast Renting

Renting sucks. Though, let’s be honest, we could include home ownership with this. But for now, the focus is on non-ownership. Searching for the right price doesn’t lock that number in. Renter’s insurance, parking fees, utilities, and anything else managers love to add are commonplace.

So many things about renting an apartment has changed, especially the price. Living in Memphis, the expected prices wouldn’t exceed much more than a thousand a month. For some minds, that sounds expensive.

Then the pandemic happened. Over the next year or so, I noticed rental and buying prices spiking up hundreds of dollars if not by a thousand. Artificial inflation at its finest. Companies from outside of Tennessee began buying land or old buildings. They would renovate or build from the ground up. The lowest of these shiny new prices were around $1,600/mo. and those were the smallest living spaces. The larger spaces were easily in the $2k range and rose higher than Mt. Ranier in Washington.

On top of that these companies have adopted certain kinds of phrasing to keep out lower income holders. One manager I spoke with mentioned requiring 2.5x rent so, “the renter can live comfortably here.” It’s stated more and more now that we shouldn’t pay more than 30% of our income. If that were the case, I can’t afford to live anywhere.

And a lot of people have disagreed with my experience. They have flat out told me, “that simply isn’t true.” They are also middle aged cis white men that haven’t had to think about renting more than a car in over thirty or forty years. They get their own micro-rating of one out of five stars.

As I look for rental properties closer to $2k, I bear in mind that this is still considered pretty low for the west coast. Memphis rental and buying costs have skyrocketed to a degree that makes sure that I can never own land in Tennessee. That’s fine, they don’t want me there for other 🏳️‍🌈 reasons.

I have been here almost a week and have found a couple of perspective places to stay. I have driven to Fairfield, California and was asked why I even made the venture. I was taught that I should get the feel of the land; see if I would actually enjoy living there. I think since the Covid virus has affected life so much in the past two years it is tough to argue visiting a place in person right now. [Southern accent] Well, I’m not from ‘round here. I know what the place looks like; just gotta see what’s around it. That alright?

The search for an apartment is just as frustrating as it would be in Memphis. The biggest difference is the new hilly land I get to travel and get the lay of. If that isn’t exciting, I don’t know what is! Well, except for finishing my first novel. That’s a much different experience.

I give the concept of Renting in the West Coast three out of five stars.

Review: Job Interviews

I’m writing this the morning of a job interview. And I am nervous.

The last time I had a job interview was about 5 years ago. I truly believed this would be my last one. I almost want to laugh at myself, as I was still in my twenties at that point in time. But I also still have that determination to never have to bother with them again. But this is all about perspective. Let me explain that more thoroughly.

I want to be a published author in this lifetime. After all, this lifetime is the only chance I get to be published even once. But I have plans for multiple books. But how do I become published? I have chosen not to go the self-publishing route. That involves Amazon and E-Books. I will never work for or with Amazon as long as I can help it. But the “traditional” route involves hiring an agent, which increases the likelihood of becoming published and more successful. Which, depending on how you look at it, are two interviews right there. But with the agent, both of you are interviewing each other to see if this would be a good fit.

At my former job (Lens Rentals), I specialized in NDI-PTZ cameras, especially one particular brand: BirdDog. As my employment with Lens Rentals came to a close, I applied for a management position for BirdDog. This would leave me state-side but would have me working with them in a much broader sense than just a video technician. And I am putting up with an interview today because I believe I have an expertise that BirdDog may mutually benefit. So we’ll see how this trans-continental, multi-time zone, international interview will work out.

Am I nervous? Yes. But not in the same way that I was five years ago. Things have changed dramatically since then. Different things are on the line. Pressure and anxiety comes from new places. Do I feel like I do a good job at interviews? I have no idea. I never know. Each interview is different. And thankfully more transparent and less one-sided like they used to feel. Still, it feels an awful lot like cramming for exams.

Job interviews don’t feel like they should be forced on anyone with extreme (or even General) Anxiety. They feel like a punishment in-the-making. On the flip-side of that perspective, they come with unexpected opportunities that you or I may not have foreseen. Maybe you’re not a good fit for the job interviewed for, but in fact another position is waiting for your qualifications. And this dawned on the interviewee only in the last seconds of the meeting. Maybe…

Interviews are awful on the nerves, but have great possibilities. I give the Job Interview three out of five stars.

Shameless Self Promotion

I grew up at a time where a natural disaster would be pushed aside by brands jumping on the bandwagon. I'm glad that this trend is leaning toward the ethically responsible thing to do. One example is Steve Wind-Mozley, CMO of the VIZRT Group. On LinkedIn, they posted their reasoning for doing what is ethically correct rather than jump on any bandwagon.

I experienced the “bandwagon” a lot as a 90’s kid. If you are GenX or older, save your groans. I don’t care. But yes, I grew up in the 90’s. Whenever there was a scandal or natural disaster, there would always be some well-known Hollywood actor facing the camera pretending to be concerned about what was happening in whichever country. And these commercials would air immediately. How the hell did these companies know to air them so quickly?!

Whatever the reasoning, I consider this self-promotion in the face of something terrible. And for what? The only thing I can think of is profit. And more companies are making more ethical decisions in the face of disasters. Specifically in the face of what’s happening in Ukraine.

I am all about Trans Black Lives Matter. Right now, I’m switching my focus toward Ukraine lives. I feel powerless in the face of this international debate. I physically and fiscally cannot do anything. But as soon as I figure something out, then I will act. But I won’t promote myself in the process. It will only be a report after the fact.

The end of the road trip

I promised myself that I would make these posts more consistent. And yet here I am, close to two months after the last post. My head is swarming with anxieties aplenty. Not least of which is because I picked up my life and moved the hell out of Memphis and Tennessee entirely.

I decided to move to California. I’ve heard many opinions and reasons to go or stay for several months. But I’ve moved nonetheless. Part of this anxiety is because I had hoped to get tested for Autism. That unfortunately feels less likely now. It’s expensive as hell for one. For another, it’s become more conservative because some directors believe it’s being over diagnosed. Which I think is horse shit. But there are also dozens of bills across the country that have me worried in other ways that makes this insanity swirl around my head. Some days I’m amazed I get any sleep.

Then there’s where to find housing. And I’ve made the decision to follow my dream as a full time writer. And I don’t have enough HRT medication to last me until I find a new clinic for refills. I’ve felt like I’m abandoning all of my friends. I haven’t posted anything for my podcast in literal months. And a job interview for something I applied for over two months ago…

But I have some solace. I am reading. Reading books in between searching and writing. One such book is by John Green that has me realize that I am not the only one with such terrible worries and anxieties. The Anthropocene Reviewed is a collection of short essays that delve into products and concepts alike. He reviews them at the end. But they are more than that. Each review gives us a bit more insight into the mind of John Green. I’ve just read the one on decathlons, which felt the most memoir yet.

Reading about his anxieties and distracting myself from my own seems to calm me down. I even want to start reviewing things as I get more accustomed to the Bay Area and everything it has to offer. I don’t have the same writing style as John Green, and my humor is vastly different from his as well. But this is something I could also do on a more regular basis.

And this feels like one more thing I can stress out about. But I am in a new place (world it feels like) and this is the best time and place to begin new habits and stick with them. A new sense of normalcy. Which is something I’ve craved for a very long time.

Though I’m not finished reading The Anthropocene Reviewed yet, I would still like this to be the first thing I review in California. With John Green’s witticisms, insights, and tempered opinions on every subject at hand, I give this anxiety-induced book 4.5 stars.

Autism Blog 3 | RAADS-R Test

So I took the RAADS-R Test today on Embrace Autism. I got a 204. Every test I’ve taken feels like I’m getting closer to figuring something out about my brain. And the main reason I even started this little quest of mine was to be more consistently creative.

Like, I’ve always depended on those moments of creativity where I get an idea and I write it down as fast as possible. But I think so fast and my hands can’t keep up much of the time. And while I don’t have an exact idea as to why this happens, I have a place to start.

I don’t know how to feel about this news. It seems like I should feel something, but right now I don’t. It’s like there’s some unnamed emotion pushing just underneath the surface. But that’s all ok right now. The thing I told myself before-hand is to just take in the information and sit with it for a while.

I’m moving out of Memphis (my hometown) in a little over a month. So that’s a big priority right now. But I’m going to have time to prioritize this ASD thing. And to bring it up when it’s necessary. Stuff like that. I’ve had to learn patience from a lot of things at work, so I know that I need to apply that to this as well.

Something about this score reenforces this belief that I am a highly creative person, though. I’ve always felt frustrated because I couldn’t get a point across, or put two ideas together and become quickly dismissed. I used to bemoan stuff like that, but I’m just trying to analyze it right now. Trying to take a step back and examine things that might be some sort of indication to something else… But to get back to the creative part: I’ve always wanted to make up stories. I think it has something to do with trying to study people and traits. Things of that sort. It’s difficult to find a story I find very interesting. And when I do, some folks boil my stories down to cliches. I dunno, I’m rambling and will stop there for now.

Autism Blog Post 2 | Reading Material

Ok, it’s been a month. Let’s get over that and move on.

I’m currently reading a book called I Think I Might Be Autistic by Cynthia Kim. I’m still at the beginning of this book. Typically I’ll hyper focus on something and it feels like I make giant leaps and bounds of progress. But I’m a mood reader so I can also lose track pretty easily. So far the book is breaking down concepts and phrases needed to begin to understand all of this.

By the way, any links to books I provide will be to StoryGraph. The reason being I don’t want to support Amazon. That’s a big practice, to provide a link to Amazon. If I ever link to a big box corporation, I would rather link to Barnes & Noble.

I’ve had a coworker give me a couple of suggestions, too. I’ll list them below once I get those links, in case anyone ever stumbles across this post they don’t have to worry about which link is buried where. He is also on the ASD spectrum and has been very patient with me as I discover how my brain works. I guess this is my new hyper focus.

The last thing I’m writing about is this site I recently found on TikTok. I take everything on there with a grain of salt, but there are some accounts that do a great job of informing folks like me who are questioning themselves and doing some serious research. Embrace Autism. I've recently taken the AQ-10 Test. The numbering system is 1-50, with a threshold of 26. That means, if you score lower than 26 you are considered NeuroTypical. That’s some lingo I’m using from TikTok, or the Clock App. Lots of short hand here!

But the Embrace Autism site has been great so far! I’ve made sure I answered everything thoughtfully. Which can be difficult sometimes. But I ended up getting a 38 on the AQ-10 Test. I have yet to take the RAADS Test, as they are rebuilding that part of the site.

www.embrace-autism.com

I Think I Might Be Autistic

I think I have Autism

I don’t generally pay attention to my last blog post, but it’s been over a year. Crazy!

A few months ago I started putting research into autism and figuring out if I am on the spectrum. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, but have since realized that this overlaps with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). This post will have to be short on the details for today, as the cafe I’m at closes in five minutes.

I’m going to do my best to be better at documenting my possible ASD, as well as a move I’m making to California. Maybe this internet diary can actually be a thing this time. Talk to you later, Internet Diary!

How to Find the Best BBQ in Memphis

How to Find Barbecue in Memphis

Look, good barbecue (ahem, BBQ) recommendations in Memphis is tricky. Especially as a tourist. Here’s a hot take: there is no best restaurant. BBQ joints here are a dime a dozen and there’s a reason for that. Quite a few restaurants have been established for decades. Others have only been around for a few years, but are still well established.

If you’re a first time visitor to Memphis and you want to check’em out, the list of places can be overwhelming. But don’t worry, there are ways to figure this out. Here is a guide to asking the right questions any time you visit Memphis.

Dry vs. Wet
How strong is the taste?
Do you like your meat cooked with or without sauce?
Do they have easily accessible sauces on the side?
How saucy should it get?
Questions like these should pop up when asking for a recommendation. This will

reveal what type of toppings each restaurant will carry. How much spice each sauce carries. It even tells you if they focus primarily on hot sauce or just spicy sauces.

Me, personally? I like sauce. Sauce is good. Especially if there’s more on the side of my plate. Plastic cups or ramekins, it doesn’t matter to me.

Hot or Mild

Growing up I always called myself a “wimp” when it comes to spicy sauces. That almost exclusively referred to bbq restaurants. But hot sauce is always about the Scoville units. Plenty of entrepreneurs have crafted their own sauces that are, indeed, spicy.

However, there is a focus on different flavors rather than how long that terrible feeling remains.

Atmosphere
What kind of place do you want to visit?
Do you want a history of the restaurant on the walls? Some, like Central BBQ, have

that. Others, like Tops, are pleasantly bare bones.
Do you want set dressing from all over? Rendezvous is the best place for that. To be honest, this isn’t something many bbq eaters think about. If you’re lucky

enough to meet someone who works at a restaurant, but they’re off the clock, then they are the best to ask.

Sometimes the menu might be ok, but others times the background vibe just... clicks with you. You feel like you could come here often and stay awhile. Let’s say you’re a solo traveler, bouncing around. So this may not matter. But if you have a family tagging along, it’s crucial for a good experience. When you ask around for a few different places, this can narrow down the options. Maybe you can do some recon before the whole family goes? Some restaurants may have fun art all over the walls, but it may be a hole-in-the- wall.

Cooking Method
How crispy do you like your pork cooked?
This is similar to the dry vs. wet questions mentioned above. Although that only asked

if you wanted sauce or not. This section goes beyond the saucy scope. What does a particular restaurant use to cook their meat? Two restaurants have amazing bbq and use two separate methods for producing their product.
Central BBQ uses oak and hickory wood where pork and ribs are slow-roasted in a pit

for fifteen hours each day. Charlie Vergos’ Rendezvous uses a similar method (pit, time, et al), but uses charcoal instead of wood. Tops BBQ uses another method entirely.

Beer or Nah?

Does the restaurant have beer? Canned and/or on tap? What’s the variety? Can any of the employees pair a selection with something on the menu? This sounds like a “wine pairing,” but this is one reason why this is an important question. Even if you don’t drink alcohol, this can tell you if one restaurant carries Coke or Pepsi. My restaurant carried Pepsi, which constantly surprised customers.

Not all restaurants serve beer. At least, there are a few that I’ve noticed. But it has become popular for most restaurants to have their own beer menu, on top of the wide variety of meats and vegetables. In fact, beer on tap is becoming synonymous with BBQ restaurants. This may be in part because of the Memphis in May BBQ Fest held in May of each year.

I worked at Central BBQ (the original on Central Ave.) for two years. In that time I heard quite a few questions where I had to think of an answer, often on the spot. Some answers seemed obvious to me, but they often weren’t to the folks from out of town.

Ribs or nah?

This feels like a point of tension depending on which Memphian you ask. Do you want to try ribs? Or stick with a pork sandwich? Maybe you want to study the menu a bit more and look at other meat options, like turkey or beef. If this is your first time or trying a different spot on your fifth visit, you want to keep ribs as a separate question from pork or other meats. In fact, treat this as a completely different menu from the sandwiches.

Word to the wise: I’ll go ahead and say that Memphis bbq restaurants don’t know how to cook beef. Let Texas be the winner in that category.

Memphis BBQ is unparalleled. However, there are quite a few options and that gets overwhelming fast. When you visit some friends or family, start asking questions like the ones above and you’ll narrow down options fast. To rework an old saying: Break ribs instead of break. That’ll make more sense in the sense of BBQ. This way you can do what matters most: human interaction.

Atlanta BBQ

Daddy D’z is a hole in the wall barbecue joynt near the Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta, Georgia.

Having worked in one of those BBQ spots myself in Memphis, I wanted to try and appreciate what Atlanta could provide while here for Thanksgiving.

Parking was quite simple. I doubt the lot has been paved over in a long time. There were faded lines and possibly a pot hole somewhere — though I likely imagined that. It’s a worn down plot of land near downtown Atlanta, so it’s quaint. 

But, as their About section proclaims on the website, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Maybe it looks ugly on the outside. So what? It’s just character.

The first room is lined with booths and a storage area covered up by some checkered curtains. That’s a polite Southern way of stating “Don’t go in here, please. You ain’t allowed back here.” I walked past a group of guys rambling on about nothing and having a good time and walked up to the small counter. There was enough space for the kiosk and a conversation. I decided to take the food on the run because my chauffeur (ahem, cousin) was driving me around to a bunch of different record stores. Another article for another story.

I kept it simple and got a pork sandwich plate on Texas toast with fried okra and Mac & cheese. I know, I know: carbo overload! And the day after Thanksgiving, too. As soon as I get back to Memphis I’ll grab some barbells and hoof it down the sidewalk for days. But in the mean time, let me tell you how good it felt.

I have family that loves to describe what Soul Food is and what it does for you. Let me tell you, this meal was soul food.

First of all, the pork was as good as any in Memphis. No, I’m not comparing it like we do Memphis vs. Nashville. I believe this meat is cooked slowly and carefully and with love. It had the perfect temperature and practically melted in my mouth. The sauce was just right; definitely not bland at all like some sauces can be, though doesn’t pack a punch like some Memphis BBQ restaurants do. And that’s fine, maybe their sauce is just their to compliment the pork. The Texas toast had crispy edges, which made it easier to hold onto the sandwich and easier to dip the edges into sauce.

The Mac wasn’t drowning in cheese like I’m used to in Memphis. The only seasoning I think they use is pepper. Quite different than what I’m used to. But this was a welcomed change. Those small half circle shells had just enough cheese to call it delicious.

Finally, we arrive to fried okra. That’s a bit of a staple in Memphis, but not when it comes to most BBQ restaurants. Sure, you might find it at one or two, but did not expect okra at this spot. I don’t have much to say beyond it needing salt. Otherwise, it was pretty good.

Daddy D’s appears to be an established part of Atlanta and I hope it sticks around for years to come. With a welcoming atmosphere and enough room for food and conversation, what’s not to like about the place? The only catch I’d point out is the wait time. Much like some BBQ joints in Memphis, you can’t rush perfection. If you gotta be somewhere in five minutes, try dinner.

You gotta try this joynt out!

http://www.daddydz.com/

You can sit at their table on 264 Memorial Drive SE, Atlanta GA 30312

If ya gotta call’em: 404.222.0206

The New Black Lodge Video

A strange Memphis staple has returned at last. And it’s bigger and better than ever. For those who rent movies, rejoice! Black Lodge Video has returned to our regular, mundane realm to liven things up. 

The old Black Lodge (or just Lodge) was in a house in the Cooper/Young neighborhood that was converted to a storefront. The downstairs was used for movie rentals, while the upstairs had a music production studio set up. The Lodge was strange, weird, eclectic, and best of all: the staff were (and still are) knowledgeable. Not sure what you wanted? Want something blockbuster or obscure? They have it. Seriously, they already have it. 

The new Lodge has taken the idea and expanded upon it with the new location on Cleveland Street. You are greeted with a black and white zigzag rug. Two long rows of films and movies (Blacksploitation, LGBT, and Action movies) guide you down the giant center into an event space. By day, there is a mild-mannered silver screen in the corner. There is so much breathing room, one might wonder what goes there beside the cafe tables and chairs. But a table with buttons and knobs suggest something more.

That screen turned into a Friday the 13th background for the event I witnessed this past Friday night. A stage was set for a disc jockey. He created electronic dance music while clips of Jason and all the folks he antagonizes. Lights swirled around like a disco. The void was filled with patrons who were probably looking for a movie two seconds ago. 

And this creates a conflict. Do you find that one movie you’ve sought out for a year, or dance dance dance the night away? You can dance if you want to at the new Black Lodge Video. Just remember to say hello to Matt Martin, creator and co-owner. And there will be other events to attend. Spooky or otherwise. Rest assured of that.

Black Lodge Video is located at 405 Cleveland Street. Very close to Crosstown (the old Sears Tower). Check out their fine selection of films before one of their music or film events. This is a welcome new and improved venue.

Close, But No Cigar!

The other day I said to my manager “close, but no cigar.” I inspect camera gear and he was helping me find a device. I thought I found it, but it wasn’t the exact item. So I threw it out without another thought. It’s a phrase I’ve heard and used many times since I was a kid. I said this phrase as if I truly knew what it meant. I was wrong.

Here’s the way I’ve used this phrase: looking for one thing, but what I found wasn’t the thing. “close…”

In actuality, this is an American term meaning “to fall short of an expected outcome.” Was I ever wrong!

After my manager questioned my usage of this phrase (this dated yet classic-sounding phrase), he looked up the line into the most powerful search engine we love and hate: Google.

I was, to use the phrase correctly this time, close but no cigar.

Not even Wikipedia.org has a lot on the phrase, though plenty on the Weird Al song “Close, But No Cigar.” But there were a couple of articles found that shed a dim light on the matter. The exact origins are shrouded in smoke, but the accepted theory appears to be in the late 19th/early 20th centuries. Location? Carnivals and fairgrounds. 

Back in the day, prizes at those over-prized booths weren’t for children. In truth, they were for the adults. It was common for things such as cigars to be a prize for that strength or accuracy contest. That is, if you won them. They were always rigged, but every once in a while someone would win. And they could win prizes such as cigars. 

But as these fairgrounds became popularized, kids were drawn to them as well. They would have their try at ring toss, or one of those tests of strength. When kid or adult would lose these nigh-impossible contests, the person behind the booth would yell out that one phrase. Possibly to announce what sort of prizes they had in stock. “Ya close, sir. You were so close. But you didn’t win, so no cigar for you! Better luck next time.” This was a popular method of drawing in crowds and to encourage the ‘loser’ to try again. Maybe even again! 

It’s funny to imagine a group of teenagers trying their best at ring toss. One of them finally makes it and the carnival attendant hands them a cigar and congratulates the kid. Then the next teenager gives it a go and the attendant guffaws and proclaims, “Close, kid, but no cigar!” Meaning, you were close, but no prize.

Thank you for reading this light rabbit hole dive into a phrase I overuse. I hope to keep this up on a regular basis.

I checked out several sites, but none of them are as extensively researched (allegedly) as the website listed below. 

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/09/the-origin-of-the-phrase-close-but-no-cigar/